i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
