There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Randomize
