Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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