apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
