you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
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