the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Randomize
