I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize
