We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
