Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
