Your mouth is God's brothel.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
