How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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