Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
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