You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Randomize
