He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
