rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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