I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
