i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Randomize
