Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
