I'm drive I can fine osifer
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
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