In the future we'll all be gay
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Randomize
