I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Randomize
