Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I have tasted many bathrooms
Randomize
