puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
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