I'm sorry my penis didn't work
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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