i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
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