he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
