it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Pooping to opera.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
