It's like God shit irony all over that family
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
