So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Randomize