i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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