using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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