I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
