All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Randomize
