I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Randomize
