Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Randomize
