Rock
Scissors
Fuck
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I am midnight drunk by noon
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize
