he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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