How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Randomize
