Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Randomize
