Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
