It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
It was confusing and full of hummus
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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