Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Randomize
