yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Randomize
