So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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