maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
