"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
