I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Randomize
