Quick, to the slutcave!
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
She even gives head with a lisp.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
