Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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