and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Randomize
