Life is so much better after having sex.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Randomize
