Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Randomize
