last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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